From Together To Together
by deadisalive
Summary: SLASH. Jack decides that she can't bear all the worrying and emotional burden anymore and leaves. Someone else becomes Alex's caretaker. Sorry it's not Wolf...and I don't want to reveal it in the summary. Read to find out
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** If I created the Alex Rider series, the series would be slash. Since it isn't and I can only resort to fanfiction to satisfy my fangirl fantasies, I clearly do not own the series or its characters.

**Author's messages:** This is my first fanfiction. So I welcome all sorts of comments and reviews. BUT do not bother to argue with me on the slash part. If you don't like it how come you are here reading this? This is the first chapter. Actually it's more like a prologue. One of the two main characters did not even appear! But I promise he will show up in the next chapter :)

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"Alex, we need to talk."

Alex knew from Jack's tone that something is wrong. He is good at reading people and sensing problems. Just like he knew something bad happened when the police officers came one night delivering the news of his uncle's death. Alex is always quite conscious and sensitive of the atmosphere, and you can almost say that he has an instinct, as he has the ability to sense danger and terrible things, which surely is helpful in his line of work – the spy business that he is forced into by MI6.

Besides, this is Jack. The Jack who has spent years with Alex and whom Alex has spent years with. Alex has learnt along the way to tell what kind of mood she is in, to read her tone and expressions and interpret what is underlying in her mind.

Moreover, it is not like Alex did not see what is coming. In fact, he is actually expecting this. Waiting for the day when this would finally happen. And it turns out, that day is today. As Alex came in to the kitchen on this Saturday morning and saw Jack sitting there at the table, he slowly stopped himself because he read Jack's signals of wanting to say something. So he was not surprised at all when Jack said "we need to talk".

Only he knew it will not be "to talk". It is going to be Jack doing the telling and he receiving the message.

Jack is a strong woman. It takes quite some courage to come to a foreign country alone, albeit the language is the same – moving away from a place one knows to a place one does not know always requires courage and determination no matter how similar the two places are in appearance because when coming to a new place, one is utterly alone. Jack has strength in her. But strong does not mean cold-hearted. In fact Jack has been so caring and loving towards Alex, she decided to stay in London because she got attached to Alex. But it is this attachment that makes her vulnerable, and eventually brought her and Alex to this day, this moment at the kitchen table where she decides that she is leaving from Alex's life.

"Alex, I can't take this anymore. You being a spy, I mean." Jack says as she looked down, avoiding looking at Alex, who is standing there and looking at Jack because he knows that probably he will not have too many chances of seeing her again.

"Alex, it's not that I don't understand it's not your choice. Hell, I of all people understand best that you do not what to be working for them. But you can't change it. Neither can I. So you have to go on missions, again and again. You have to be hurt, again and again." She looks up and Alex can see the sadness and pity and angst and frustration and love and care all mixed and shimmering in her eyes. He remains silent but gives her a small nod to tell her that he understands and tells her to go on.

"Alex…The thing is, as you are sent off on missions and I am left alone, I worry. I am worried and anxious and…" she bite her lips, "…torn. I keep having images in my mind. Horrible, horrible images that I can't even bring myself to tell you because that means I have to think of them again. I am reluctant to answer when the doorbell or the telephone rings because I am afraid. Afraid that I am going to be told by some emotionless cold voice that you are injured or…dead."

Jack's voice cracked at the last word and Alex realizes how hard she has been trying to fight back tears. Slowly he walks towards the kitchen table and sits down beside her. He does not know what to say. He knows about Jack's emotional burden. He has been witnessing its growth since he came back from his first mission with the bruises and scars he got in the mission. He has seen Jack's expression, her pain as she saw his pain, her anger at MI6, and anger at herself because there is nothing she can do. In fact she is one factor that MI6 uses to blackmail Alex. All the time spent worrying, not knowing what has happened or is happening to her dear Alex has hurt her deeply. She tried so hard to not let it show, to cheer Alex up by pretending to be cheerful while she is far from cheerful. And that only drags her down even more.

"I'm sorry." Alex says because he feels he should say something as Jack tries to recollect her voice and a heavy, suffocating silence engulfed the room. Jack shook her head at his apology. "Alex, do not apologize. It's not your fault. Not your fault at all. Please know that my decision is not because I don't love you. It's because I do love you. I can't be with you anymore because I can't be without you. You know what I mean?"

Alex nods trying to come up with something to say but fails. So he manages to smile at her. At least he manages for his mouth to do the curving up part. Not sure if his eyes followed the order to show some soothing happiness. Judging from Jack's even more saddened expression, he knows that unsurprisingly failed.

Jack tries to smile at Alex and she, too, fails. Failure to cheer up only causes more sadness. Jack's eyes are now clearly watering as she continues, "I am leaving. Alex, I can't be here anymore. At least if I am away I can lie to myself that you are not on a mission, and I will not see the bruises and cuts and…bullet wounds in front of my eyes. Oh Alex I really wish I do not make this choice but…" Jack stops as the tears finally slide down her cheeks. Alex puts a hand on Jack's. He desperately searches for his voice.

"Jack, I understand. I really do. Please don't hate yourself. I know you love me." Jack shook her head again and closes her eyes, but she smiled, with tears on her cheeks she smiled, "Alex…how 

can you be so…sweet. You are too mature. Parents are supposed to be happy if their child is mature and sweet and understanding, right? But somehow I only feel sad…" She draws a deep breath and opens her eyes again, "Anyways. I called MI6. They had given me a number, told me that I should call if there are…problems."

Alex knows that by problems MI6 were probably implying things more like Jack being attacked or Alex being attacked or both. But this definitely counts as a problem too. He asks, "So, um, what did they say?"

"They agreed for me to leave. And they also arranged someone to take care of you."

Alex blinks. He does not like that idea. Well of course it would be illegal to let a fourteen year old to live by himself with no adult looking after him. But, as Alex thought bitterly, isn't it even more illegal to let a fourteen year old go on missions where he could easily be killed? Besides, Alex is fully capable of looking after himself. Although Jack is the housekeeper, Alex has learnt to cook and do all the chores around the house. His uncle Ian always asked him to look after himself as much as possible. Not a surprise considering Ian wanted Alex to become a spy.

Sensing Alex's unhappiness, Jack says, "They said it is someone you know. And someone who knows you and what you do. They will make the arrangements and documents to make it like he is a long lost cousin of yours so it makes sense for him to look after you. He is an employee of theirs and he has the ability to look after you."

Alex knows by "ability to look after you" Jack is not referring such abilities like cooking or cleaning. More like protecting him from assassination and attack. Recalling all the people he has met in his spy life, Alex tries to figure out who this person might be. Male, MI6 employee whom he knows…immediately a name jumps into his head.

"Ben Daniels," Jack's voice confirmed his guess, "MI6 told me that this person's name is Ben Daniels."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **You know what? My first name actually starts with 'A' and my last name starts with 'H'! Sadly that's all the similarity there is between me and Anthony Horowitz. I actually had to go to Wikipedia to get the spelling of 'Horowitz'. So no, I don't own Alex Rider nor the series.

**Author's messages:** Um… I actually have quite a lot to say. But I think you would prefer the story. So what about you read the story first and I will put the things I have to say at the end?

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**Chapter 2**

"So, Alex, are you coming?"

Tom, standing next to Alex, asked the question that he had asked earlier that day, and Alex could see so easily that Tom wanted him to answer yes to the question. Tom is asking Alex about a football game he and his friends – whom, several months ago, could also be referred to as Alex's friends – were going to have at a park.

Alex sighed and shook his head. He was about to open his mouth when Tom silenced him with a look that let him know how disappointed Tom was. So he swallowed the 'no' back into his throat, and instead said, "I am sorry."

Somehow that answer made Tom even unhappier than a simple refusal would. Tom nodded, said 'that's okay' but Alex knew it was not okay. Giving Tom a little smile, he said, "It's not that I have something important to do, well, not that sort of important things anyway."

Tom said 'It's okay' and this time curiosity had slipped into and taken over the disappointment in his voice.

"I've got to meet my new guardian." Alex answered and stopped there. He had told Tom that Jack was leaving, but he lied about the reason of Jack's departure. He said that Jack had to go back to the United States because something happened in her family over there, which is the official reason. 'I want to leave because I can't stand looking after a 14-year-old spy' obviously was not the No.1 reason for people to leave the country.

Tom, being the Tom who knew what kind of people Alex was (reluctantly) associating with, naturally became interested and asked, "Who is your new guardian?"

Alex shrugged and said, "Well, it's someone that knows about me." Tom instantly understood that it was someone who knew Alex's 'job', and became even more interested in this guardian conversation, but Alex really did not want to talk about this anymore. "I think the others are becoming impatient." Alex said, tilting his head in the direction of the other boys waiting for Tom at the door, one of them holding a football.

With an 'I will call you later', Tom left with the other boys. Alex managed to give Tom a smile and a nod, but both the smile and the nod were not as sincere as they appeared to be. He wondered if anything he did at school was still sincere. Slowly Alex picked up his stuff and walked towards the door. He sighed again, for the hundredth – or thousandth or even more – time he wished that Tom did not know about his involvement with MI6.

At first it felt good that Tom knew about it. The thought that someone, a friend, a fellow student at the school, knew about what he does and understands him felt good. But it quickly became clear that Tom does NOT understand. Tom does not understand the fact that working for MI6 is not a fun thing, and it is not something Alex wants. Alex could tell that in Tom's mind, the life of a spy is such a wonderful thing. Thanks to the books and movies and TV shows that make the life of a spy seem graceful and cool and exciting and interesting and sexy. He almost chuckled at the last one. Yeah, James Bond is the perfect example of spies, good-looking and attractive and stands out in a crowd like a movie star does, and the bad guys only need to take out all the hot guys to destroy the government agency.

The travel between school and home had always been a travel by himself for Alex. He moved quite a lot, but wherever he was, no matter what city, what country, he was asked to travel between school and home alone. His uncle, Ian Rider, did not provide a ride for him, which is not surprising considering the fact that Ian was busy working at a bank which is not really a bank but THE bank. So at a very early age Alex learned to go to school and come home by himself. Jack at that time was still pursuing her own studies, and by the time she finished her studies and had the time to pick Alex up, Alex had grown used to going by himself and did not need to be accompanied. Ian had also made it quite clear that he did not like Alex inviting people to the house, which Alex did once, when he did not know that Ian did not like it. Ian did not act unwelcoming, and the friends told Alex later that they had a great time and thought Ian was a 'interesting and kind guy', but somehow Alex could tell that his uncle was not happy to have his friends in the house. So ever since then Alex brought no friends to his house.

So unless he had plans with friends (e.g. to play football at a park), Alex would leave the school alone and arrive at his house alone. He would then open the door to either find Jack welcoming him, or a note from Jack explaining where she was –often it's ' the supermarket, brb'. He would also, before his uncle's death, occasionally find Ian in the house, reading a newspaper or a book in the living room, or working in his study upstairs, in the latter case he would receive a kind warning from Jack – 'your uncle is working, don't disturb him', and he would nod to show he understood and then he and Jack would smile at each other, a smile for which the reason was (from back then to this date) unclear to Alex, but he always felt a warmth every time they did exchange that smile, and he believed that warmth is a sign of something called happiness.

But things had changed. Ian was no longer in the house. His absence from the house was in fact not uncommon. But he was not only absent from the house but also from the world. And because there was no more Ian, there was no more little warning from Jack saying 'your uncle is working don't disturb him', and there was no more smiling at each other, no more feeling both silly and great at the same time – silly because there was no obvious reason to smile, great because…because it just felt great, great great great.

And now even Jack would not be in the house anymore. She was going to leave. As a matter of fact, she had already left, earlier this day, in the morning, when Alex was swimming in a sea of numbers and graphs in his math class.As he approached the school gate, Alex cannot stop thinking about Jack.

How is she now? What is she doing now? What is she thinking now? Is she thinking of me? Is she missing me? Is she missing me like I am missing her?

Jack is gone. The idea finally hit Alex. Jack is gone and he was going to live with –

"Alex!"

A cheerful voice stopped Alex. He recognized the voice, which is not a hard thing to do because of two reasons – he is good at memory, and the fact that he was just thinking about this person.

The travel between school and home had always been a travel by himself for Alex.

But many things had changed in his life.

And the latest change is that he would not be alone on his road home today.

Because standing there, waving and beaming at him, was a familiar face. A face Alex was expecting to see and – he realized as soon as he saw the man – looking forward to see.

Alex walked – no, he would not admit that he actually ran – to the man, and said, "hey, Ben."

Ben Daniels, also known as Fox, former SAS and current MI6 employee, held out his arms and gave Alex a hug. Alex was a little surprised, but Ben quickly released him so he did not have a chance to show his surprise. Ben looked at him and said, "I, um, decided to come and pick you up. Is this okay for you?"

Alex rolled his eyes, "You are already here so does it matter if a say no?"

But Alex did not want to say no. And Alex knew that Ben knew Alex did not want to say no.

Because Alex was smiling.

And Ben was smiling too.

And Alex felt both silly and great at the same time.

And there was that warmth, deep from heart, a sign of something called happiness.

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**Author's messages:** OK. A couple of things I want to say.

First of all, I am sorry for not updating this sooner. No, there was no real reason for it, actually. Well, there is actually a reason, but it's not good enough for a 5-month hiatus.

I would still like to tell you the reason because I would like to ask for help. I had tried to find an official description of what Ben Daniels (a.k.a. Fox) looks like but couldn't find one. I do not have the first book with me and that book is literally at the other side of the globe, so no, I can't go get it.

I think there should be an appearance in the Stormbreaker movie that shows the movie version of what he looks like, but I don't know if that's true, because I have never seen the movie.

And it is freaking me out. Because, yes, as you probably have guessed, the pairing of the story is not Alex/Wolf nor Alex/Yassen, but Alex/Ben. I know – it's not a popular pairing. But that's partially the reason I want to write it.

So, **if anyone has an official description of what Ben looks like, whether it's from the books or the movie, can you please tell me?** Just leave it in a comment. Thank you!!

Now the last thing I would like to say. It's also a little selfish favour I would like to ask from you, which is to pardon my grammar and my English in general. I re-read the 1st chapter and realized I jumped back and forth between past and present tense. English is not my first language. But I guess that is no excuse and I welcome any corrections to my grammar etc.

Thank you for reading this story and even all these after the story. I hope the next chapter will take less than 5 months to appear. I hope!


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning:** Okay, so this story is still under rating T, but I am really not sure if I should move it up to M. THERE MAY BE SOME GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION (depends on your standard of 'graphic'). Please tell me if I should change the rating.

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It was not the sights that scared him the most.

No, surprisingly, visuals were not the worst part. That did not mean that the visuals were good. They were far from good.

But even worse were the sound. The smell and the taste. And the feeling.

The sound of gunfire. The sound of agonizing cries. The sound of explosion and collapsing buildings. The sound of last breaths and collapsing families.

The smell of burnt flesh. The smell of fear. The taste of bile. The taste of blood. And because he got so familiar with it, the smell of blood, too. Even though he did not know that humans can smell blood. Or maybe humans really cannot. But he can.

The feeling of the coldness of a gun. The feeling of the coldness of the heart. The feeling of pain so sharp he knew even if the wound healed it would not go away. The feeling of numbness because he got used to the perpetual pain. And everything turns empty and blank.

And then they come back to haunt him: the sound, smell, taste and feeling of death.

Alex woke up from his nightmare like countless nights before. There was a slight difference. Jack was not there, standing in the doorway, trying her best to hide her worrying expression away but failing miserably at it.

This must be part of the reason Jack left, Alex thought. She accidentally came across Alex having a nightmare once and had since then checked on Alex from night to night. But there was nothing she could do. Soothing words and hot drinks could not bring closure. Not to this type of nightmares. She asked if Alex should go talk to a psychologist. But MI6 never mentioned anything. And Alex can't really just go and talk to some random psychologists because, well, his experience was a secret. He was a secret. A national secret.

Jack tried all she might. And Alex really wanted it to work. He wanted everything to be right again.

Obviously Jack failed and so did Alex. So this night (or was it already a morning?) Alex woke up from his nightmare, and Jack was not there. How could she be? She left and was no longer in the house. A house, not a home. Not anymore.

Alex decided to get up from his bed and go to the kitchen for a glass of milk. Guaranteed that it would not be the solution to his problems but he no longer asked for a solution. Right now all he want is a glass of milk because that is all he could want.

While microwaving the milk he heard a sound behind him and almost jumped into an attack. But the other person made himself known from a safe distance, calling out Alex's name. And Alex relaxed at his voice.

Alex turned to face Ben who was walking into the kitchen, where the blinds on the window were not closed, and as the night was a full moon with excellent weather, moonlight was pouring through the window, illuminating the room enough so Alex did not need to turn on the lights to see. And there was enough light for Alex to see concern in Ben's eyes. Alex did not like that. That was what Jack's eyes held ever since he came back after his first mission.

In an attempt to lift the atmosphere in the room, Alex cleared his throat to say something, but all he could come up with was "you know, you were going to be attacked had you not called my name that early. "

"Yeah." Ben said. He was silent for a few seconds and then added, "I know. That was why I called your name that early. Because I guessed that you are…you know, people whose automatic response for an approaching person is an attack." He paused again and added, "I am like that myself."

That was the first time Alex realized how different living with Ben was going to be. Because Ben did not need him to explain some of the things. He knew. He understood.

They were both silent. Then the microwave finished heating the milk and beeped harshly. Alex, almost startled by the sound, quickly retrieved the milk, and took a seat at the small table in the kitchen. Ben stood there and watched as Alex quietly drank from the glass. Alex did not look at Ben in the process but he could feel the man's eyes on him.

The sigh was so light Alex almost did not hear it. But he did. He looked up to see Ben sitting down on another chair at the kitchen table, but not before adjusting the position of the chair so he was sitting right next to Alex, side be side shoulder to shoulder.

"Nightmares?" Ben said, barely louder than a whisper.

It was not a question and Ben did not need an answer. He was looking at Alex knowingly. "I am not the go-to person for therapy. But you know…in case you want to talk…" He sighed again, this time much more heavily, "but I doubt what you want is to talk. Because I don't, either. But it's okay."

Alex wanted to scream that it's not okay and then Ben lifted the arm next to Alex and reached over and hugged him across the shoulder and suddenly that urge to scream died.

And they just sat there, side by side, in a comfortable silence. Alex did not know for how long they spent like that. It seemed so long, yet it felt so short at the same time.

Then Ben patted him, took his arm off and Alex felt a coldness rush to him. He held on to the now empty milk glass, still radiating residue heat from the milk. He felt Ben gently pushing his shoulders, slightly turning Alex so they are now face to face.

"You know, there is something I would like you to know." Ben started, "before I came here I read you file, and…I just want to know that you are really good at this. Really, really good."

Alex blinked. If his eyes were not cheating on him, then it must be the truth that Ben was, in fact, blushing. Alex felt a smile reaching the corner of his mouth. Ben stood up hastily. And with a half-muffled "I'm going back to sleep", he left the kitchen. By then Alex was sure that Ben was blushing. And by then Alex had definitely been smiling.

Alex remained at the kitchen table. He closed his eyes, tilting his head backwards. He could feel the moonlight gently touching his closed eyelids. And it felt good.

It felt good to hear that from Ben.

It felt good because it mattered. A confirmation mattered. And not just any confirmation, it was a confirmation that came from someone who had seen his fair share of death and blood, pain and terror. It came from someone who understood why Alex would have nightmares, someone who actually knew what kind of images overflows those nightmares, someone who had been there and would be there right beside Alex in a world of lying and killing and be the trustable and dependable.

It meant a lot, more than Alex had realized.

But now Alex did realize how much it meant. He wanted to say 'it meant a lot', 'it's nice to hear that', or even just a 'thank you'. The reason he did not say anything was not because Ben left so quickly; he could still say it if he was able to.

But he wasn't able to. He could not find his voice. There was a block of emotions that sprawled out all the way from his heart to his entire body, and it denudated his voice.

And as Alex sat there on the kitchen stool, that huge burden of emotions slowly melted away. He tried to grasp of what exactly the feeling was called. And unsurprisingly to him, he failed to reach a conclusion.

But he did ascertain what kind of feeling it was. Normally a praise would generate a one hundred percent sweet feeling. But this was not the case. Ben's praise felt sweet, but the reason it felt sweet and meant so much, was bitter. So it may be a cliché but the best word to describe how Alex felt was bittersweet.

In the life of Alex Rider, however, even the tiniest bit of sweetness is greatly appreciated.

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The next day was a weekend. Alex went back to bed when the first branches of dawn was crawling through the window and spreading out onto the kitchen floor, and when Alex woke up it was near noon. Having gone through the morning routine but not bothering to change out of his pajamas, Alex walked into the kitchen, and found Ben in there, eating a bowl of cereal.

Alex stared at him. "Is this breakfast or lunch?"

"Well, it's cereal…" Ben answered.

"Yeah, but it's noon! Don't tell me you just woke up?"

Ben shook his head, "No. I wake up early in the morning. Always. A habit I've developed because of…um, my job."

Alex raised an eyebrow, "You know, you don't have to act as if you don't want to accidentally reveal what your job is. I mean, I know what it is."

Ben put down his bowl and his lips curved into a smile, "Yeah, I…sorry, I just realized. You know, ever since I started working for MI6, all conversations about my job are either carefully avoided or carefully fabricated." Ben sighed, but the smile in his voice was not fading, "I mean there are still people who know that I am working for MI6, but like, in normal day life…I can never, ever let slip of what my job is." He paused. "Now I don't. I don't have to lie about all that stuff, about me being a banker...and this feels great. You know?"

Alex smiled, "Yes, I know."

And they were doing the smiling-at-each-other-feeling-silly-and-great-at-the-same-time thing again.*

Finally Alex remembered what triggered the whole scenario, "Um, so, since you woke up really early, I would assume that you had breakfast, so how come you are eating cereal at lunchtime?"

"Oh well…people have things they are good at and things they are, you know, not so good at…"

Not needing any further hint, Alex said "I will cook" and headed into the kitchen, and made sure to send a mischievous smirk in Ben's direction before he went. And for the second time in approximately half a day, Ben blushed. So either Ben was really susceptible to blushing or Ben was really susceptible to blushing due to Alex.

And somehow Alex knew that it was not the former one.

Soon the smell of food began dancing in the air and somehow it made the air so much warmer. For the first time since Jack's departure, Alex felt that something is right. It felt like that this house is a home again. And to Alex's shrinking ordinary-teenage-boy world, a home is all he can still ask for.

So it was more than a feeling of _something_ is right. In fact, for Alex Rider, this certain noon, in the kitchen pretending that he did not know Ben had sneaked in and was standing behind him trying to see what he is cooking, _everything_ is right.

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*Refer back to chapter 2 to see what I meant by the whole smile-at-each-other thing. Sorry it's been such a long time…

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**Arthur's message:**

Alex, enjoy the peaceful life while you can. Because it won't last long. *checks outline for this story* Yup, definitely won't last long.

Wait, on a second thought. Consider how "often" I update my fic, it will actually last pretty long.

So the reason for not uploading sooner…all I can say is I am really really sorry.

Well I am currently enjoying my 2-week Christmas/New Year break but really it's not a break (ah, smooth shift of topic, I know, I am an expert at this). I have 7 university applications due in three days. And a 35-page chemistry package to study and memorize for test on the first day after the break. And a 60-page physics package to study and memorize for test on the second day after the break. And something else I can't remember at this moment. But don't worry, once I bring up the courage to check my to-do list I will remember.

Well, I guess the person who really should enjoy peaceful life while he/she can is me.

Oh, and today is my birthday. I am sure it is the best birthday ever considering all the work I have. Really. How can it be any better? (Sorry, sarcasm is my new best friend.)

Sorry to all of you who have not yet totally given up on this fic. Or me, for that matter. No, you don't need to tell me that there really isn't anyone…I know ;(

HUGE thanks to all of you who helped and responded to my little question regarding Ben's appearance at the end of the last chapter. I have yet to find a good place to really insert his appearance (because it's wierd to start rambling about a character's appearance out of no reason in the middle of a story) but you guys are amazing!

And thanks to all of you who have reviewed before. Maybe I didn't mention this beofre but I read all the reviews over and over again and feed on them. =P

Um. What else. Oh yeah, if you have been so kind and managed to read through my rant without giving up, I guess you can be even sweeter and drop a review? *puppy eyes*


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